why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my sisters under your porch take her home
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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