I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
