why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
