Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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