My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
