They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
