just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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