She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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