Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
