I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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