Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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