I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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