My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
