I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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