she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
foreskin is a definite game changer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
