i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
