Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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