The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
