My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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