Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
