whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize