thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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