Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I will pee on everything he values.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
