when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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