The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
