he thought i was a dude.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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