um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
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I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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