i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
