my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
