My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize