Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize