Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
