I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
