I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
