I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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