Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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