So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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