I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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