he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
