They should really pass out barf bags in church
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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