He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
