why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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