Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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