forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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