Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
