Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
