I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
