Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
