I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
