My friends, they love my intelligence
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
