Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have feelings that need drinking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
