dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
