i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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