Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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