I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You are a genius and a whore.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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