He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
