I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i would punch a child for taco bell
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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