I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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