New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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