So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
