Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
