So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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