I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
