He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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