Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
