I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
