I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you would pick up someone in the library
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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